


(You Turn Me) Inside Out

by inexplicifics



Series: Sugar and Spice Bingo [1]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: First Kiss, Frottage, M/M, how to kill selkiemores
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28605495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexplicifics/pseuds/inexplicifics
Summary: Apparently, the Wolf School teaches a different method of killing selkiemores than the Cat School does. Aiden has some objections to Lambert's strategy.
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher)
Series: Sugar and Spice Bingo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096091
Comments: 42
Kudos: 726
Collections: Sugar and Spice Witcher Bingo





	(You Turn Me) Inside Out

Apparently, the Wolf School teaches a different method of killing selkiemores than the Cat School does.

Lambert doesn’t like killing selkiemores - it’s fucking disgusting, and it takes ages to get the muck out of his hair - but it’s not _hard_ , and as long as he doesn’t lose his grip on his sword, not particularly dangerous either. He just has to look tasty enough to get swallowed - not difficult, as selkiemores will eat fucking _anything_ \- and then hold still long enough to reach the stomach, then get his sword up and sever the gas bladder, which is easy to reach from within but well-protected from outside, and then keep his mouth and eyes shut so as not to get any of the ick into them when the damned thing explodes.

Lambert wades out of the water, dragging the selkiemore’s head - the teeth sell for a decent amount, and he doesn’t always find the head before it sinks, so he’s feeling fairly pleased despite the selkiemore ick all over everything - and is tackled to the sand by a truly frantic Cat.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Lambert says, having only just barely managed to restrain the instinct to stab whatever was pouncing on him. Aiden is perched atop him, staring down with enormous green-gold eyes. Lambert’s been meeting up with the Cat - accidentally, he’s willing to swear to it if anyone asks - off and on for three years now, and he’s never seen Aiden lose his cool so spectacularly. “Seriously, Aiden, what the hell?”

“It _swallowed you_ ,” Aiden rasps. “You - it just - you were fucking _gone_!”

“...Yeah?” Lambert says, not quite sure where Aiden is going with this. “That’s...how you kill ‘em?”

“No it fucking isn’t!” Aiden half-yells, and then leans down and - oh. Kissing. Apparently that is a thing they are doing now.

It takes Lambert a minute to adjust from ready-to-fight to ready-to-fuck, but adrenaline doesn’t really care what you use it for, after all, and Lambert has - very quietly - been thinking about this for a _while_. Really, he dares _anyone_ to spend time with Aiden and _not_ think about it; Aiden’s fucking attractive, all languid grace and big green-gold eyes and wicked little smirk, and he’s got a damned funny sense of humor and he puts up with Lambert’s assholish tendencies with amusement rather than anger, which means he’s better company than pretty much anyone else Lambert knows. He drops the selkiemore head and his sword, and gets his filthy hands into Aiden’s messy brown hair and his rather-more-metaphorically filthy tongue into Aiden’s mouth. Aiden makes a sort of desperate whining noise against his lips and wriggles until he’s stretched full-length atop Lambert, and never mind the selkiemore ick or the buckles and hard edges of their armor.

Lambert, for once in his life, isn’t going to complain. He’s hard - who wouldn’t be? - and he can feel Aiden, just as hard, pressed against his leg, but he doesn’t really want to let go of Aiden’s hair or stop kissing him, and Aiden apparently feels much the same. That’s alright; Lambert gets a leg wrapped around Aiden’s and thrusts up against him, and Aiden whines again into the kiss and starts rutting down against Lambert, movements uncharacteristically desperate and inelegant.

Lambert gets lost in it, the deep drugging pleasure of the kiss and the sharper, more urgent pleasure of Aiden grinding against him. He’s wound up enough from the fight and the surprise of finally _having_ this that it takes a rather embarrassingly short amount of time before he’s biting at Aiden’s lips to muffle his moan as he peaks. Aiden pulls back for half a second, eyes blown black, to look down at him in astonished delight, and then kisses him even harder and thrusts down against him hard, and comes in his own turn with a sort of strangled yowl.

They lie there panting for a moment, and then Lambert says, because he can’t keep his mouth shut even when he really should, “So, you’re really into selkiemore guts?”

Aiden puts his head down on Lambert’s shoulder and laughs helplessly for a while. “You _asshole_ ,” he says after he’s gotten his guffaws under control, and raises his head to kiss Lambert again. “No. I do not have a thing for selkiemore guts. Go rinse off, you absolute _madman_ , and then we can go collect your bounty and try this again in a proper bed.”

Lambert considers arguing, just because he’s usually constitutionally incapable of agreeing to even very sensible plans without doing so, and then realizes that he truly doesn’t _want_ to argue. Well, apart from - “ _We_ can collect the bounty? Which of us killed the selkiemore, again?”

Aiden rolls to his feet and offers Lambert a hand up. “You did, you ridiculous Wolf. But I deserve some recompense for emotional wear and tear, you know.”

“Oh, do you,” Lambert grumbles.

Aiden grins, bright and mischievous. “Yep. But you’re in luck - I’ll take my share in kisses.”

Lambert considers that. “Suppose I can agree to those terms,” he allows at last, and leans in to give Aiden the first part of his share.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Sugar & Spice Bingo, and betaed by the amazing RoS13!
> 
> I am available on tumblr and discord - drop by and say hello!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] (You Turn Me) Inside Out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831419) by [Chantress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantress/pseuds/Chantress)




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